What To Implement Now To Supercharge Your Relationship At Any Stage
The 3-pillars of effective, exponentially expanding, loving relationships is well researched and documented by clinicians, social scientists, lay persons and even you.
It is so obvious, it can sometimes seem to be background noise.
This is your reminder.
For relationships that have growth as a component and longevity as an intention, these ingredients are essential:
- Cognitive (intellectual) alignment, respect and contribution;
- Physical attraction;
- Spiritual connection and identity;
It is so simple and you have always known this.
Why is it so challenging to grow your relationship and have it be something that lights your fire over a lifetime?
These ideas encompass all types of loving relationships, including polyamory, same-gender, etc.
Love doesn’t consider boundaries or have judgement.
Fear does and it’s inevitable end is always death.
Courage
A primal part of most people is the desire to belong and avoid conflict and or rejection.
It is so embedded that most are not aware that their behaviours are being guided by it in one area of life or another.
The etymology of courage from Latin relates to the heart.
It is deeper than desire or dreams.
Courage is strength from the design and purpose of the heart.
#Courage may be challenged by fear and can not be vanquished by it because of it’s infinite nature.
Everyone has courage.
The choice to use it is subjective.
In #relationships, it takes courage to love someone enough to share your truth and not be attached to a way of being.
Even when you “know” something to be true, it is only from a particular context.
This is especially relevant regarding infidelity and financial bumps.
From the heart comes love and courage.
Real love has no borders or conditions.
What is the most courageous way of being you can have from a foundation of love for your relationships?
Full Self Expression
Full Self Expression and courage are usually roommates.
They go almost everywhere together.
Being fully self expressed is to be present, from Love, in being able to share without restriction from your heart.
This kind of expression moves and is born from Love.
It is not always pretty, correct, right or appropriate from the standards society may wish to impose.
Full self expression is always primal.
It’s deeper than being authentic.
There is a full range of emotions it travels with and it envelops all who witness it.
Consider yourself blessed when you are in this realm and or can deliver from the heart of it because it is rare, raw, uncontrived and the genesis of our being.
The difference between full self expression and putting on a show is the former is not connected to looking good, getting it right or being concerned with external judgements.
It is only focused on the beauty of its truth from love.
When you care enough to share your heart with someone disregarding if you look foolish or if they will accept or reject you, this is a step towards #fullselfexpression.
Is there something in your relationship you are not sharing for fear of the other person’s reaction?
Communication
From love, communication is one of the most important attributes allowing a relationship to thrive.
Communication is the blood in the body of a relationship that brings nutrients and oxygen to all the organs.
Courage + Full Self Expression + xyz = #Communication.
One of the best ways to sabotage any relationship is to deny or limit communication.
This is inclusive of omissions.
Because there are different types of communication and behaviour types, you owe it to yourself to understand your behaviour type as this will give you insight into your preferred method of communication.
You can not expect to be effective in causing your relationship to thrive if you do not know yourself.
Next, becoming masterful with the behaviour types and communications styles of the people in your life is essential for their #growth.
Your growth and that of the relationships in your life has a direct correlation to the commitment and responsibility you have to everyone in your circle to “get it.”
Rather than coming from what is wrong or missing, consider what areas are you most effective with communication.
What is a way you can expand the areas you are already effective at?
What can you be responsible for with the people in your sphere to enhance their connection and communication with you?
Physical Attraction
Have you ever gone to a florist and asked for the driest, most unappealing, wretched looking flowers to give as a gift?
It is disingenuous when people say, looks are not important.
Having longevity with someone includes being attracted to them.
Remember the three pillars of a #relationship?
Intellectual alignment, physical attraction and spiritual identity are not suggestions; they are essential for a relationship to thrive.
People can have longevity in a relationship, but that does not mean it is going to expand in the way love cycles and modulates.
It will not #thrive unless all three pillars are always present.
If you ever find yourself no longer being attracted to your partner, consider it was a choice to find them attractive in the first place.
This means you can potentially find them attractive again keeping they are putting a premium on their health.
Without your body, the spirit doesn’t have a mechanism of expression.
It is worth considering that if you or your partner are not keeping your physical body healthy, what does that say about love?
Is there a conversation regarding self that is not in alignment with love?
Finally, frequent touch is necessary with your partner.
It is optimal if your touch encourages the uptake of oxytocin.
To do this, have mastery of your partner’s body map.
Daily kisses and hugs are requisite and make sure it doesn’t remind them of nanna.
You do not have to have a six-pack.
There is no correlation to that and health.
If you are putting poison into your body, which is anything that is not going to enhance your wellbeing, to what end is it promoting love?
Celebration
There is simplicity of behaviour in this next example.
My big, black, 65kg dog will do anything for cuddles.
He remembers the behaviours that will most likely lead to cuddles and will focus on those.
When he has a behaviour that is commendable such as not eating other dogs, not running out in the street and so forth, he gets a #cuddle and I make a big deal out of it.
After you have been in a relationship for any amount of time, the novelty can wear off and you start to see cracks.
This is when it is so important to acknowledge their strongest attributes in a way they can receive it.
Different behaviour types need #acknowledgement in different ways.
People who are conscientious want to be privately acknowledged.
Supportive behaviour-typical people prefer gifts.
People with directive behaviours prefer actions which demonstrate their contributions.
Influencers shine with public praise.
The more you understand the language and the unconscious story your partner has, the deeper and more connected your relationship will be and the more fulfilled your life experience shall be.
If you are present or oblivious to this fact or not, your partner and you are the same thing.
You have the same identity.
You are both a manifestation of divinity and essential to life and humanity at this very moment.
Act like it and remember it by allowing your focus and actions to be guided from #Love.
#Celebrating your partner is easy.
Create a habit of celebrating them that is as automatic as breathing and you will start to experience a profound unfolding of yourself.
Summary
There are many areas to focus on if you are intent to allow more love to flow from you and cause your relationships to thrive even more.
It isn’t necessary to do everything at once because it isn’t possible.
Select one area you know you can grab the low hanging fruit from and ride it fun and hard.
Within each category of courage, full self expression, communication, physical attraction, and celebration are infinite sub-categories.
Entire books have been written about each.
You can not get this wrong.
Your life experiences have not been mistakes.
Each experience has given you a lens by which to make a contribution now.
Each experience is #allowing you to choose love now.
Life is precious for as long as you hold to the beauty and wonder of it.
Meaning, purpose and passion are all subjective having little and or nothing to do with your value.
Is there some aspect of your life that moves as does the frequency of love?
Since the answer is, yes, tonify you, which is synonymous to relationship and celebrate your partner(s) past, present and future.
You deserve it.
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